Celebrating Milestones: My Journey to Independence

By: Tammy Culhane

Throughout our lives, we strive to reach certain milestones. When we are born, we experience our firsts. As we navigate our unique paths, we set different types of milestones. Oftentimes, these types of experiences are extremely important and special. They make a huge impact on your life, and you will remember them forever.

Dreaming Beyond Limits

Being born with Cerebral Palsy, my milestones differed from those of my peers. I celebrated getting a walker when they got a bike. I mastered my first electric wheelchair when they were taking driver’s education. However, when it came to hopes and dreams, mine were exactly the same as theirs. After high school, I wanted to go to college, move out of my mom’s house, and live my best possible adult life. People were shocked to hear about my goals. Words like impossible and unrealistic were used. I understood their concerns to a degree, but I wasn’t going to let that stop me! I wasn’t going into things completely naive. I knew that this new life was going to require extra planning, organizing, and self-advocacy.

Planning My Path: Finding the Way

I wasn’t sure where to start when planning things out. I applied to Algonquin College first. I didn’t think I would get accepted on my first try, but I did, and I was elated! Sadly, that excitement was short-lived, as all of a sudden, a major obstacle smacked me right in the face. Where was I going to live? I knew I needed to find somewhere that would provide the assistance I required.

Whirlwind of Decisions: My Move to Ottawa

Those few months before starting my college journey were best described as a whirlwind. My mom and I researched and visited possible places I might thrive in. We were struggling to find the perfect fit, so much so that my mom was considering moving to Ottawa with me. That was definitely not how I saw this new life starting, so when I got an interview with an agency that I'd never heard of, I took it right away. I thought it was going to be an easy, breezy appointment where I was going to listen to my mom describe what we were looking for. The interview went slightly differently. I was being asked questions that I had no idea how to answer. When I looked to my mom for the answers, the interviewer kept reminding me that my mom wasn’t going to be with me every day and that I needed to be able to tell others about my care needs. At that moment, I started to realize the true significance of my decision to move away from my small town, my family, and, most difficult of all, my mom, the only person who knew all of my care needs and my personal preferences.

Transitioning to College Life

In the short weeks that followed that interview, I received a call saying that I had been accepted into the housing program and that I was being offered an apartment right away because I was relocating for educational purposes. I accepted the apartment right away and moved in mere days before my first day of school.

In all of the chaos, I had forgotten what this move actually meant. I was quickly reminded that I was going to be all by myself when my mom got ready to say goodbye after spending a week getting me and my apartment organized. Tears started flowing, and I second-guessed everything. All of a sudden, I was in charge of my own life. It was up to me to tell someone how much help I needed to do everything. It was up to me to instruct others on what I wanted to eat. It was even up to me to figure out and coordinate my school and care schedules. It all felt very overwhelming and impossible; however, I kept reminding myself that this was my dream and I had to do everything I could to find my footing.

Building My Support Network

Just when I thought I’d found my voice to vocalize my needs within my apartment, I realized that I would have to do the same at college. I needed to find and hire (using government funding at the time) classmates who would take my notes and act as my attendants at school. It was nerve-wracking to stand in front of my class and ask strangers for help, but I did it. I managed to assemble a great core group that was absolutely wonderful to work with.

Celebrating My 32-Year Journey

Fast forward to the present day, 32 years later. I am still living independently with the same organization. Being able to achieve the biggest milestone of my life has truly shaped who I am today. I confidently know how to seek out and use the resources I require to continue to live my best adult life possible.

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Header image (flying birds) via Saurav Mahto / Unsplash

I am a strong (and extremely stubborn at times) woman who lives with Cerebral Palsy. I’ve been involved with various disability organizations over the last 30+ years. I play and love Power Wheelchair hockey (I’m a goalie). I am a novice writer who has been published in local magazines and newspapers. My lifelong goal has been to write a book based on my life experiences.

If you would like to see what I’m up to, please follow me on Instagram: @tammyculhane