Directing Your Care: 4 Tips for a Successful First-Time Experience with New Attendants
By: Andrew Gurza
One of the things that I love the most about Whimble is how they truly are your attendant care team on tap. Because they offer on-demand services, you will probably run into a scenario where you will have to direct a new person for the very first time. I have been directing my care for years, so I know how to navigate that pretty well, but maybe there are some of you out there who want to use Whimble but are apprehensive about directing your care with a new person. I understand, as a severely disabled person who needs a lot of help, just how daunting that can be. So, I wanted to offer some tips and tricks for those of you who want to learn how to direct your care with a new person for the first time. Let’s crack into it.
Make A Video Detailing Your Care
Whenever I am hiring a new person, I like to make a video of my care needs so that they can get a better understanding of what my needs are. When I first started working with Whimble, I explained that I would need catheterization to pee. It always scares me a little when working with new attendants when I have such complex needs, and if I’m honest, I was scared before I started using Whimble that something might go wrong. So, I decided to make a video. I talked to my regular care attendants, explaining that I wanted to film a catheter video for new staff. It worked out perfectly because the video allowed me to explain things at a speed that worked for me while also giving any new attendants watching the chance to rewind and watch again. It also gives me the chance to teach without any immediacy or urgency. I highly recommend you try it if you are nervous.
Stay Calm
I have found that one of the most important parts of training a new person is to stay calm. This can be way easier said than done at times because you can be super nervous about the new person doing something that would harm you, or you may be nervous about not knowing exactly how to explain a key concept. I remember when I first worked with Whimble to do my Hoyer Lift and my sling, I had to stay really calm and relaxed to ensure that they got it right. The great thing about the staff at Whimble is that they stay calm too, so you have no need to stress—promise!
Remember, You’re A Team
When directing new care staff for the very first time, it’s important to remember that the two of you have to work as a team. This means that it is critically important that the new staff listen to what you want and need, but it is also extremely important that you listen to the new person as well. If they have ideas or ways to improve your care at that moment, do your best to listen and incorporate their suggestions, too. There is a belief that we, as the clients, are the "boss,” and I think that we have to let go of this thinking, especially with Whimble. They are there to learn how to help you, so let them. Teamwork makes care better.
Be Patient
Sometimes, when you are out at an event and you need caregiving services, like bladder and bowel care, you want them done swiftly so that you can get back to belting out T-Swift at the karaoke bar with your friends, right? Yeah, we’d all like quick care, but I would rather receive the best care, and to truly have the best care and to build a trusting relationship with effective caregiver guidance, you need to be patient. That means if someone is learning how to do a catheter in real-time or how to help you clean up after bowel care, you mustn’t rush them. This is a skill that I have had to hone for myself. Teaching myself that waiting a few more minutes for them to put the catheter in correctly saves me a trip to the ER and a tremendous amount of stress and worry. Also, I think that allowing them the time to learn builds better relationships with care staff, and the relationship is what it’s all about when it comes to care. Whimble is a small but growing team, so you will see these folks again.
The most important tip of all, I think, is to have fun with the attendant you’re directing and make them smile. The stronger a bond you have, the easier it will be for you to feel safe and supported in your care needs. This list isn’t exhaustive, but I hope it sparked ideas for your care journey! Till next time!
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Header image (a parking sign for wheelchair users) via
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Andrew Gurza is an award winning Disability Awareness Consultant and the Chief Disability Officer and Co-founder of Bump’n, a sex toy company for and by disabled people. Andrew uses they/he pronouns and identifies proudly as disabled. Their work has been featured on BBC, CBC, Daily Xtra, Gay Times UK, Huffington Post, The Advocate, Everyday Feminism, Mashable, Out.com, and several anthologies. He was the subject of an award winning National Film Board of Canada Documentary “Picture This”. Andrew has guested on a number of podcasts including Dan Savage’s Savage Love and Cameron Esposito’s Queery. He has spoken all over the world on sex, disability and what it means to be a Queer Cripple.
He is also the host of Disability After Dark: The Podcast Shining a Bright Light on Disability Stories which won a Canadian Podcast Award in 2021, a Queerty Award and was chosen as an Honoree at the 2020 Webby Awards. The show is available on all platforms. Andrew is also the creator of the viral hashtag #DisabledPeopleAreHot. You can find out more about Andrew by going to www.andrewgurza.com and connecting via social media @andrewgurza1.
