Discovering Interdependence: Why I Joined Whimble

By: Anthony Micallef

Being born with a physical disability, my parents instilled in me the importance of independence. I was taught that I should not expect anyone to work harder to solve my problems than myself. Equipped with a keen interest in computers and other tech gadgets, I quickly found myself exploring new ways of leveraging technology to create a more accessible environment. From there, I learned how to be more assertive and articulate when explaining my needs to my peers and caregivers. Eventually, I was confident enough in my autonomy that I was ready (and very eager) to make what turned out to be one of the most important decisions in my life: moving out of my family home to another city to attend Carleton University in Ottawa.

Early Emphasis on Independence

This was a huge leap for me. Until then, my parents did nearly all of my personal care. I grew up in a small town, and in most cases, accessibility was an afterthought (or simply nonexistent). Carleton University had a one-of-a-kind on-campus attendant care program that made living independently while studying a possibility for people with disabilities. This program opened up my world to the vast possibilities my future could hold, but it also presented many new challenges. On top of living in a new city, going to a new school, and balancing a concerted effort to make friends and maintain my grades, I also needed to manage my daily personal care needs. I quickly realized how much I took for granted having my dad come into my room and help me get up in the mornings while I was still barely just waking up.

Now, I had to know the ins and outs of my care routine and how to efficiently communicate those needs to perfect strangers with little to no formal training. In a way, I was a manager at the age of 18. I had to train staff, plan and structure my daily tasks to work with my care resources, and sometimes even address personality clashes or performance issues. It was overwhelming at times, but I wasn't discouraged. I knew that this city and I had a lot to offer each other. So I embraced the challenge, learning how to adapt to different people's communication styles, work styles, and personalities. I began to feel like I had a good handle on balancing my care needs, professional life, and social life. I was truly independent.

It's worth noting that I was taking a heavily computer-based degree at Carleton, and my passion for tech was still in full swing. So naturally, I started finding ways to apply this to my daily tasks. I found ways to control my lights and TV with my wheelchair, develop tools and software to automate some of my repeated tasks, and use just about any opportunity I could find to procrastinate on some of my harder assignments while still feeling productive.

This was the epitome of independence for me, just like my parents had taught me. I had never felt so autonomous, and I was ready for whatever my environment or my disability could throw at me.

Challenges of Autonomy

Until I wasn't. I got sick, very sick. I spent months in the hospital recovering, and things were looking bleak. Eventually, having almost fully recovered and gearing back up for the academic grind, I had an epiphany. Was I too independent? Is that possible? Maybe I had been focusing too much on my autonomy, packing too many things into my day, telling myself I had too much to prove, that I started to hinder myself and my health.

I made a conscious decision to focus less on my independence and allow myself to be vulnerable and ask for help when I needed it. This definitely wasn't easy, and directly contradicted so much of my perspective and identity up to that point. Years later, while reading Stephen Covey's famous book "7 Habits of Highly Effective People", everything clicked when I read the following quote: ‘Dependent people need others to get what they want. Independent people can get what they want through their own effort. Interdependent people combine their own efforts with the efforts of others to achieve their greatest success.’

This is what I was missing. I had focused so much on being independent that I was actually short-changing myself. When you have a disability, you're invariably more dependent on others than your able-bodied counterparts. The values that taught me to be independent somehow almost made dependence a negative trait, but the idea of interdependence positively invalidates this. It's okay to need help. Everyone, regardless of their diagnoses or ability levels, has different strengths and weaknesses, and the best way to achieve your full potential is to join forces with others in ways that capitalize on your differences.

Not only did this help with my work, health, and interpersonal relationships, but perhaps most importantly, it improved my relationships with my caregivers. I was less afraid to ask for help when I needed it or to admit that I needed more help than I'd like.

Joining Whimble

This is why I joined Whimble. When I first found out what Emma was working on, I knew I wanted to be a part of it. I understood first-hand what it means to need help and the struggle associated with accessing it. When you need help, you should feel like you can ask for it, and more importantly, you should be able to find it. A caregiver's role is to empower us to achieve our greatest success.

I'm so thrilled to be a part of this team. I'm excited by the challenge of improving the caregiving experience for all involved so that we all can achieve our greatest success. Together.

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Header image (nodal network) via Unsplash | @theshubhamdhage

Anthony is Whimble’s Chief Technology Officer. He is an accessibility consultant with over 10 years of experience tailoring customized tech-based solutions for people with various disabilities. He has a diverse background ranging from software development to customer success and is passionate about creating meaningful user experiences by leveraging empathy and lived disability experience.

Anthony has a neuromuscular disability called Spinal Muscular Atrophy, which lends a unique perspective on design usability and accessibility. Combining his technical expertise with unique first-hand experience with disability, he strives to come up with creative new ways to make technology work for people to maximize their independence in everyday life. He also enjoys comedy and upping the ante on spicy food from around the globe.