Disabled Self-Care When In Crisis Mode
By: Zoey Schvan
I’m sure you’ve read and heard a lot about practicing ongoing self-care when you’re disabled. I’m sure you have tools and techniques that work for you. I’m sure you’re not perfect, but you do what you can and are able to in order to maintain your needs and care.
While this all is probably true, the entire thing goes out the window when a loved one is sick. How on earth can you even begin to worry about yourself when this is happening?
Have you ever heard the lesson about how you need to put on your own mask in an airplane crash, before you put on someone else’s? As hard as this is to fathom, the same rule applies here. I’ve got a few ways you can practice self-care when you’re in this type of crisis mode.
The Basics
Have you been sleeping? How often do you get the chance to eat a meal? I know these sound simple, but you would be surprised how much a power nap can help. Realistically, the usual amount of sleep and food you get might not be feasible during these times, but trying to fit small amounts in is so important.
Your Medical Care
Another basic need you have is your own medical needs. As impossible as it may seem, it is super important for you to do that blood test, go to that checkup, etc. Being disabled and/or chronically ill means that you most likely need to maintain a certain level of stability to stay healthy. Taking care of yourself means you have the energy / ability to care for your loved one.
Self-Love
I know this one might sound cheesy, but hear me out. Helping yourself feel confident and capable (not to mention, gorgeous) can go a long way in keeping yourself healthy. Remind yourself how awesome you are! Whether this is done with self-talk, or a self-help tape, a confidence boost will be super helpful for you in the long run. And what are some things that make you happy? Is it coffee, or a favorite song? Let yourself experience one of these things; catch up on that show, eat that donut, treat yourself.
Love From Others
On top of learning to love yourself, let others love you as well. This could even just be a 5-minute phone call. It might sound simple, but it’s so effective.
Breaks
Dealing with a crisis all the time is extremely stressful and exhausting. Add the fact that this involves a loved one, and it might feel like you shouldn't be focused on anything else. Taking some time for yourself may feel irresponsible or unnatural. Surprisingly, the opposite is true; taking even just a few minutes to yourself adds to the energy bank you need for your loved one.
Mindfulness
I was extremely skeptical about trying mindfulness and meditation, but does it ever help. Stress can often exacerbate chronic illness. Calming your body and mind can work wonders when it comes to avoiding a potential flare up. This doesn't have to be a full-on course, this could even just be a YouTube video.
Accept Help
Taking on everything on your own will eventually take its toll. Nobody is superhuman. Admitting this to yourself is hard. Have you had a friend offer to help with something? Do you have access to a social worker or therapist? If you can think of one thing that would make your life even just a little bit easier, let yourself ask a loved one to pitch in.
Another extremely helpful way to take care of yourself is to delegate those chores you rightfully have no energy to complete. The moment you have a way of doing this, a huge weight will be lifted off your shoulders. Need help cleaning? Didn’t have the time or spoons to do the laundry? Hire someone to give you a metaphorical hand. Whimble is here for you, whenever you need them.
Last, But Not Least - Cut Yourself Some Slack
I’m making an assumption here, but based on my lifetime as a disabled person, I have come to believe that a lot of us are hard on ourselves. Whether it be internalized ableism, external pressures, or a combination of the two, we sometimes put ourselves down. Please, for what might be the first time in your life, cut yourself some slack. You are going through a very hard time. Let yourself not be perfect. Imagine someone you know was dealing with what you are going through, what would you say to them? Would you remind them to take care of themselves? Flip this back onto yourself.
I know, these are all easier said than done. Where do you even start? Pick one of the things on the list and try it out for 5 minutes... see how it feels.
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Hi! My name is Zoey Schvan, I’m a 33-year-old disabled entrepreneurship coach based in Ottawa.
I have a super rare condition called familial dysautonomia (FD), which is a progressive disorder that affects my nervous system. I’ve had this my whole life, and am very proud to be able to share my journey with my fellow disabled entrepreneurs, in the hopes that it may help them in any way. I work with my clients at whatever part of their entrepreneurial journey they may be.
Apart from this, I also offer content writing services and do advocacy work for the disabled community.
Instagram / Twitter : @zoeyschvan